Through the wardrobe...

Kristin and I have been back in California for over a month now! It is comforting to spend time with our family and friends, and we have been welcomed back tenderly. However, it's a little disorienting returning to our hometown. We saw and experienced so much, and it seemed like the 4 months was more like 4 years... it's a different world in India! If any of you have spent any time in a third world country, you may be familiar with what I decided to call "the wardrobe effect."

A dear friend --who is also a missionary and has traveled to Africa, India, Ireland, and other places-- suggested this analogy to me, and it has proven to be quite true. In The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe by C.S. Lewis, four children enter a magical wardrobe which leads them to another land. They have a series of amazing adventures with curious creatures. They live full lives in this land, growing up to become kings and queens. Then after many years and experiences, somehow they stumble back through the wardrobe into their native earth, and at the moment they step back through the door they are back to being children again. Nothing in their world has changed. Very little time has passed. No one back home knows what they saw and experienced. It is as if nothing has changed there at all, though they had all these life-altering experiences and return quite different people.

It feels as though I stepped through the wardrobe into another world in India... a hard world... a world where children beg on the streets, where women constantly fear rape, where I could not venture outside our little home without a guard. A world of intense spirituality (both darkness and light), a world of intense poverty, beautiful vibrant colors, exuberant personalities, strange customs, different values. I lived a short time in that world, but it seemed like a lifetime. Kristin and I fought battles and forged relationships. All the things we experienced were so intense.

Then we came home--stepping back through the wardrobe--and found ourselves disoriented. Life went on here in California without us, and it continued much in the same bent as before. In actuality, things have changed, but we have changed more. 

How have I changed? It's so difficult to describe... my mind is different; my heart is different; my body is even different (can't abide the cold now). I am the strange one; misunderstood, misunderstanding, misplaced. And yet I know I am here for a reason. I've already seen how a continuing purpose is developing in my life as I spend time back in the US.

Being here has so far been a bittersweet experience. Bitter because it's somewhat disorienting, because I miss my little students, because I long for afternoon tea time and church services marked by enthusiastic clapping; sweet because my family and friends are at my fingertips, because I have freedom to drive to the store and pick up ice cream, because the street is clean and I can drink water from the tap. It's a mixed bag.

All I know at this point is that I am blessed by my experience in India. It was amazing and life-altering, and I am so glad to know all the precious people and children that I met there. I know more about myself, about the world, and about my God than I ever did before.

Perhaps the most important thing I want to convey is thankfulness. I am grateful to every person who prayed for us, supported us, encouraged us, and followed us on this journey. Thank you. You have enabled us to go, held us up, and made a difference in our daily lives and in the lives of the children we worked with.

And it's not over yet! I am working on polishing the stories I've written about various Indian children, church members, and friends. They are remarkably beautiful tales of redemption, and they touched my heart; I hope you will be touched by them as well. They'll be showing up on the blog here occasionally.

Plus, I hope and plan to return to Chillakallu soon! I don't know exactly what that will look like yet. But there is a medical camp in November, so I will do all in my power to make the long trip back to Andhra at the end of this year. We shall see what happens.... Part of me longs to go back again for a long-term project, teach again, and continue to work on the writing project. That part of me knows I'll return someday. Another part of me is afraid that I won't have the means or the time or the strength... But the transformation I underwent has given me a renewed and stronger trust in the plans God has for me. I am excited about what lies ahead and confident that whatever happens will be ultimately good.

In the meantime, I will love and serve the people in my hometown however I can as I continue to serve people in India by assisting New Hope with lesson plans for the school and writing correspondence for the leaders. It's a small world made smaller by technology, which will allow me to keep in touch with "the other world in the wardrobe."

As I thought about the wardrobe and my experience, I remembered this line from the final chapter of The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe (after the children return to their previous lives) and was encouraged about what the future holds:

“And so for a time it looked as if all the adventures were coming to an end; but that was not to be.” -C.S. Lewis

This has been only one chapter in the grand adventure of my crazy life. I am excited to see what's ahead. 

More to come...

P.S. -- Kristin and I spoke at Crossroads Church about our experience in India. It's a good condensed update for those of you who want to hear a few little stories, see some video, and hear about the basics of our trip. 

2013 India Update from Crossroads Church on Vimeo.