Dying for Love

I follow a pretty set routine here. My schedule is flexible, with times being on a variable "Indian clock" that shifts with the weather, mood, or a variety of ever-present unforeseen events. But the basic elements remain the same. Quiet mornings. Classes throughout the day. Games and prayer with the children's home kids. And always--among much other daily reading material--a copy of The Deccan Chronicle, "the Largest Circulated English Daily in South India." I like reading the local news because it reminds me of what's going on in other people's daily lives.

At New Hope, we live a very peaceful existence. I teach. I play with children. I write. I teach some more. I attend church and various outreaches. The compound where we live is clean and bright. The children are happy and loved. And mostly I write about the ways people are helping each other and about the amazing things happening here.

But the orphaned children and The Deccan Chronicle are a constant reminder that a very sad, harsh world lies outside these compound walls. 

The children, because they all came here after they were abandoned, abused, discarded, or victims of disease (many of the parents died of HIV), or because their parents were unable to care for them. Life is hard for these families, and we only see small glimpses of their great pains.

The Deccan Chronicle, because the news is always pretty bad. The same can be said for most papers in the US too, I know. I worked for several newspapers, and I've read my share of them. But there's a disturbing pattern I've noticed with The Chronicle lately: In almost every paper there are reports of killings over inter-caste relationships, and always, always, always at least one murder or suicide by a lover in anguish. 

People are killing themselves, their families, and each other because of love, either for the lack of it or because it didn't work out as they planned.

Yesterday, one of the stories that caught my eye was about a girl whose family tortured and murdered her along with her lower-caste lover to defend their family honour. They believed that her relationship with a boy from a class below her would stain their family reputation. They believed it so absolutely that they set aside basic human decency and love for their own child to brutally murder her. Because her relationship choice didn't go according to their plan. These "honour killings" are sickeningly common here. I've seen at least four stories like it in the past month.

A couple of days ago, a young girl jumped in front of a train to kill herself after being rejected by her lover. 

There was a rash of local murders in which boys were slitting the throats of girls who rejected them. 

Not to mention a story about a narrowly-avoided child marriage; a man who murdered his son because he suspected he was illegitimate; a woman who was shot in the head by her brother-in-law, who was in love with her, because she refused to commit adultery; and a young Romeo & Juliet couple who killed themselves because they knew their parents would not approve of their alliance.

With the complex social system in this country, involving intricate caste hierarchies, religious elements, ancient traditions, and the twist of the modernization and Westernization of the giant cities, it's impossible for a young Western girl like myself to offer any conclusions about why this is happening. But I know that it has something to do with darkness, evil, and the deep-rooted hold that sin can have on people. It is truly tragic.

I know that all human beings crave love and intimacy. We yearn for it like we yearn for food, but with more intensity and emotion. We daydream and we cry over it. And many people are so desperate to find that one person to love forever... so desperate to be satisfied with love that they are killing and being killed over it.

Love--and the endless pursuit of it--may be all we need... but we have to look in the right place. Human love can never fully satisfy. Not permanently. Our world is too broken for that. 

"Some wandered in desert wastes,
finding no way to a city to dwell in;
hungry and thirsty,
their soul fainted within them.
Then they cried to the Lord in their trouble,
and he delivered them from their distress...
Let them thank the Lord for his steadfast love...
For he satisfies the longing soul."
                                           -Psalm 107:4-9

My heart breaks over these terrible deaths. But I am grateful for places like New Hope, where true love is lived in a way that brings hope into hopeless lives. Pray with me for the victims of these killings. Pray that the love that overcomes darkness will find its place in India.